Either the violence stops, or I lose my family

When Ete discovered what the consequences would be if he didn't change his violent behaviour, he decided that he needed to change for himself and his family.

Soft piano music plays in background throughout video.

A black screen with white text says 'Warning. This video contains discussions of violence. Viewer discretion is advised.’

A middle-aged Samoan couple are sitting together in a large living room with a brick fireplace and windows that look out into their garden. The man, Ete, is wearing a grey T-shirt and has Samoan tattoo bands on his arm and wrist. The woman, Mele, is wearing a bright shirt, her hair is tied into a bun, and she is wearing a Frangipani Flower Sei.

Ete: “Only one person was able to say 'Ete you need to stop or you're going to jail.”

Cut to Ete standing outside surrounded by trees looking up. Bold words 'Thinking About Change' appear in the centre. There is a Samoan arm-band tattoo on his left arm and a Samoan wrist-band tattoo on right arm. He rubs his arms which are cold from goosebumps.

Ete: “And that's when I thought there's actually going to be a consequence for this violence.”

Cut to Ete running along Wellington waterfront on an overcast windy day. Breathless, he reaches the edge of the concrete platform and looks out over the harbour to see the expanse of water and cityscape. The wind is rippling through his shirt.

Ete: “There's actually going to be a consequence and I have to choose whether I stop or whether Mele goes, the kids go.”

Cut to Ete walking through from the living room to another living area of his home, there are multiple bookshelves to his left filled with books, certificates, and children’s toys. He pulls out a photo of his wife and child and looks deeply sad and regretful as he looks at it.

Ete: “The most precious things to me are going to be lost if I don't stop.”  

Cut to Ete standing on a balcony at his home, looking out over a view of suburban hillsides. The camera focuses on the Samoan tattoo on his wrist.

Ete: “Or do I just continue being in self-denial, go to prison. [voice shaking] No way.”

Cut to Ete standing in the bush surrounded by trees, his expression is reflective as he looks up into a clearing in the canopy.

Ete: “Violence, hitting, was no longer an option for me.”

The screen fades to black, text appears saying: ‘In Your Hands. Change starts here for you and your whanau. If you think it might be time to change your behaviour, you’re in the right place.’

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