A woman speaks:

Have you ever found it hard to communicate clearly with others? Embracing new ways of being with others will make a huge difference to your own sense of self as well as to how others see you.

I'm going to share with you some helpful tips to help you with good communication. First of all, limit the amount of space you take when talking to others. Don't hog the space. Don't interrupt people who are speaking. Allow them to finish what they are saying. When people pause, it does not necessarily mean they have finished. They might be just catching their breath and getting their thoughts together.

Become a good listener. Staying with what the person is saying is not a passive activity. How often does the conversation happening in your head drown out what the other person is saying? It requires being open to hearing the other person and resisting the urge to censor or shut out what you don't like about what they are saying.

Get and give support. It's helpful to be able to put your own agendas and issues aside and see the overall picture of what is being achieved. It's possible to work with others as opposed to working against them. Most people want a good relationship with others. Most people want to resolve difficult issues so they feel that they have been taken seriously. In fact, at the end of the day, we all want to be taken seriously.

Don't rush to give answers and solutions. Have you ever noticed that when you are talking with your partner and start to offer a range of solutions, they get annoyed with you? This is a bloke thing. While sharing our ideas, beliefs, and possible solutions to a problem are important, the process of how that problem is resolved is the important part. We all need to be responsible for working together to resolve issues. No one enjoys having solutions forced on them. A more respectful way is for everyone to have their say and come to a joint agreement.

You don't have to speak on every topic. It gets very boring having someone being an expert on everything. Hearing a broad range of ideas, not just yours, is crucial. The final decision is much stronger as a result. Perhaps you don't have to have an opinion on everything.

Avoid put-downs. I don't need to tell you that when people feel judged and put down, it only makes the situation worse and builds resentment. Challenge others' oppressive behaviour. We all need to take responsibility for behaviour that we know is harmful to others. If you see others acting in destructive ways, point it out. It's not helpful to collude with disrespectful behaviour.

Your challenge is to put at least two of these ideas into practice over the next week and then build in other skills after that. These skills will support you to become an ace communicator.